5 weeks - 34 days - the countdown to seeing my son again begins. I've finally got around to making travel arrangement for graduation. I've never been so happy after spending so much money!! I find myself staring at his pictures more - like somehow you start to forget what he looks like - the sneer when he smiles or the hand gestures that I used to hate! I can't seem to pull up the memory of his voice though - obviously if I heard it right now I would recognize it - but I just can't seem to muster up the exact sound of it in my head. Before he left he gave me a Build A Bear Bear for Mothers Day. Of course he dressed it as a Marine - the memory of the gift still makes me tear.... The bear sits in my headboard and every night before bed I take the bears "hand" in mine and say a little prayer. Sometimes, like last night, I hold on a little longer. Heck sometimes I wake up holding the thing! Never before this experience has a stuffed animal held so many emotions for me. That's the true issue isn't it - the emotions - they come from the most unlikely sources and at the most unlikely times. I know there are hundreds of thousands of Mom's who've taken this journey - but I've been so oblivious to it all - until now. 5 WEEKS AND COUNTING!!