I find myself these days often thinking back to Thanksgiving 19 years ago. I was pregnant then which allowed me to eat all I wanted to without guilt - it was a good year! 3 days later Casey arrived. Since that year his birthday and Thanksgiving have intersected several times as it will again this year.
I'm not so sure this will be as good of a year. It will be the first time I will sit down for Thanksgiving dinner without Casey at the table and the first time that I won't get to celebrate his birthday with him. I am glad that he won't be alone on this day though. His father is flying out today to San Angelo and they'll be having dinner with several of the other Marines still on base.
It still felt strange though to not celebrate his birthday with someone - so yesterday I grabbed a box of Cookie Cottage cookies and headed over to the Marine Corps Recruiting Office. When I first walked in the door I told them I could really be mad at them for making me spend the holiday without my son, but I decide to thank them instead. I thanked them for helping my son to become the man I always knew he could be.
Even during the most challenging days with Casey there was always that little glimmer of the amazing person inside him. And that was what kept me going sometimes. In the last 6 months I have watched that glimmer emerge. It is now a bright and shinning beacon and I couldn't be more proud. The transformation Casey has made in the last year has been absolutely amazing. The day he stepped into that recruiters office changed his life and gave him a passion and dedication beyond what I thought was possible. I asked him one day if he ever regretting signing over years of his life to the Marine Corps and he said "you know there are days when I hate getting up at 4 am, days when I hate all of the physical training and days where I hate the fact that I can't do whatever I want whenever I want, but you know, as much as I sometimes hate those things - I love the Corps even more and I don't regret my decision for a minute." What a proud Marine Mom I am!
By the way, the recruiters asked me to tell you that they've moved to a new location, in Glenbrook Commons across from Toys R Us and that they're still looking for a few good men and women. Happy Thanksgiving to all of the military families that will celebrate tomorrow with an empty chair at the table. You are certainly not alone!
2 comments:
This was the first time I have read your diary. Reading thru some of your old post I understand the feelings you had about your son last year my son joined the army and departed right after graduation. got to see him in Nov. and have Thanksgiving then his orders changed. He was shipped off to Iraq this past july was his 20th B-day and he spent in Iraq. Hoping in Spet. he will get his two weeks to come home. Paul
I haven't yet had to endure a deployment, the key word being yet! I certainly feel for you. The pain of separation is just another one of those things I never realized before my son joined. It's just a whole new world!
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